Saying NO.
Yes. When someone asks you to do something, they want you to say yes. It’s not to say that they didn’t entertain the idea that you might say no; but the optimal answer is yes. Yes means you agree. Yes means that you confirm the idea or question of the asker. Yes is easy, sometimes it rolls off your tongue before you've had time to really think about it. Yes can spread like a disease and fester out of control, if you let it. Yes implies commitment.
No is something altogether different. No means that you disagree. It means that you will not comply. No is definitive and straightforward. Contrary to popular belief, it is not impolite to say no. In fact, since no does not give any false hope, it might be even more polite than yes. The problem with saying no is we live in a society that perpetuates the notion that we should all get what we want.
Although children typically learn to say no, even before they learn to say yes, they understand the meaning of the word yes before the word no. In growing older, you find that saying no becomes more difficult and accepting no for an answer even more difficult than that.
Somewhere along the way it becomes uncouth to say no. People become shocked and bewildered when they hear the word. There is an immediate feeling of disappointment. The entire energy of a conversation can shift the moment you utter this simple word…no. How did this two letter, one syllable word, become so very powerful?
The only real art to saying no is staying true to your authentic self. That little voice inside of you that knows exactly what you want and what you don’t. The voice of reason that lets you know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Your authentic self will never allow you to bite off more than you can chew. It will never try to pull the wool over your eyes or try and shield you from the truth (even when it hurts). Silencing the voice of your authentic self, is the first sign of trouble. This silence will prevent you from setting boundaries, for yourself and others. You will forget who you are and when you should say “no.”
Your authentic self may not have fans, at first. But when you choose to live in truth, goodness is sure to follow. If someone asks you to do something and you’re unsure of how you should respond; ask yourself “will this decision cause me to be angry or resentful later?” If your answer is yes, then the answer should be no. Simple and painless. You may feel uncomfortable saying no, at first, but it will be refreshing.
It's so damn hard to say no sometimes, but there comes a point where you gotta suck it up and just do it!
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